We propose that NASCAR forms its own scented candle company, which would allow fans to bring the following ambrosial aromas into their own homes.
Coagulated rubber pellets personally scoured off a used race tire by none other than Larry McReynolds himself. Let the bold aroma of incinerating rubber fill your home with warmth and comfort.
Timmy Hill likes to celebrate iRacing victories with a refreshing glass of milk. He then leaves it half-finished in his iRacing room and forgets about it. Over time, it curdles and the smell permeates not just the room, but the entire house. It’s a unique scent that Timmy is excited to announce you can bring into your home.
The signature bouquet of chili, onions, and tube meat that permeates the crisp air at a Martinsville Speedway race is one that belongs in every home. Light the wick, close your eyes and inhale deeply. It’s like enjoying a Martinsville hot dog without having to have an emergency roll of Tums in your pocket.
It could be a tree stump. It could be an old piece of furniture he decided had worn out its welcome. Whatever Clint Bowyer has taken out to his backyard and incinerated with his blowtorch is an aroma that we too would like to experience. Every jar contains a mystery.
We have some of this still lying around and we want to get rid of it before it expires. So yeah – it’s a jar of traction compound with a wick in it. We’re being told to hold off on selling this one because the aroma is “toxic” and the material is “extremely flammable” but whatever.
Watermelon is already a refreshing aroma, and it can only be improved when you add tire marbles and general racing grime. This offering by Ross Chastain combines all of them. Please do not eat this candle. We’ve had problems with that.
Smithfield is synonymous with wonderful breakfast aromas. But rather than try and pick a favorite, why not offer an aroma that combines them all – Aric’s beard after he has dined on a scrumptious and satisfying meal of ham, bacon and pork chops? The remnants of each rest in his ample stubble. Combined, they are greater than the sum of their parts. It’s like a meat Voltron.
Sweat-soaked shirt. Protein powder. Used fitness mat. General dude funk. The magnificent bouquet of post-workout Matt can now be brought into your home. It’s like having the real thing there, except this candle doesn’t strip down to his boxer briefs and begin flexing in front of the nearest mirror.
To add a positive scent to an unfortunate situation, it’s a jar filled with the caked dirt and grass picked off the grille of a car that has had an unfortunate detour through the infield. Its earthy redolence will leave you only wanting more. You read that right. You’re paying for a jar of mud with a wick in it.